Arroz Dourado

A mind of full of thoughts. Lightnings, thunders and noise. Expressions of despair, covered in fake expectations. The pain is more than just physical, It comes from the bottom of the soul. Spreading it through all the system Making myself lose control. I run in circles and It's helpless. Knowing that it's the end, Waiting for the time to come. The seconds take hours to pass, And the lights start flare. Every little thing hurting so much, A self-made nightmare. Now I lay down on my bed, Feeling the weigh that drowns my heart. Expecting the world to end, I really don't know what to do next. How often does your mind is empty?

I've found myself in front of a sink full of plates. There were other dishes, but literally all the plates of the house were there.  First, I thought I wouldn't wash it, but then I saw her doing it and I felt like that was something inevitable.  I used to feel like chores were just a way of punishment, now I know they're possibilities of showing love. It's good to know that loving isn't that hard or even an unrealistic and unreasonable kind of feeling. Love is just an attitude towards the good of others. Now I know that, and I'm grateful for it. All this time I've watched herself coming and going, doing whatever it takes for her family. She deserves best because she definitely has been the best to everyone in the house. Love is not a feeling, love is action, love is a verb! She taught me that and I thank her for it.   I love you mom, in other words I do for you. 💜

Às vezes fico em silêncio, mas estar em silêncio requer esforço. Não ouvir os ruídos é um ato de coragem, acalmar os ânimos mesmo na escuridão. Não desejo morte nem que ninguém se esqueça. O momento é único e a verdade é sã. É preciso calar para que o interior fale. Rodeado de escudos feitos de algodão. Abafando os gritos de tempos perdidos. Segurando a música que sussurra tão próxima. Quando o silêncio toma conta a vaidade se esvai, consumindo toda a dor de não poder dizer. Me fecho dentro da minha mente, desfazendo todo movimento, reconhecendo os que vêm à noite,  quando o silêncio toma conta.